Monday, November 27, 2006

Why my house is cold... seems that I have large furry heat-seeking masses blocking the heating vents. Suggestions for their removal welcome.


Anonymous said...

Removal we can do!

5. Place gasoline soaked hand towel over heater vent. When vent becomes blocked, ignite towel.

4. Take an old unneeded electronic device. Cut the cord close to the device. Strip sheathing off ends of exposed wire and attach positive and ground terminals to heating grate. Plug other end into outlet. (Recommended: Place oscillating fan nearby for post-use)

3. Hire midget (they're always looking for work) to wear red spandex devil costume and chase cats off vents with plastic pitchfork while yelling "Goggle goggle goggle goggle goggle!"

2. Build (attractive) 2'x 2' perforated wooden crate to stick over the vent. Cat can only cover one side max at a time. 5 exposed sides leaves 4 functioning ducts.

1. Dynamite.

Anonymous said...

ok. anon scared me. i would vote for #2!

hope you are warm. you can always come down here and try out our new baby blue bath! xo

BunkleLife said...

T, anonymous is harmless, and lucky for him he no longer works for me so I can't actually fire him for nastiness to cats ;-)

Warm? Pipes in my house frozen today. Huge stress, no water.

Unknown said...

Uh oh @ the frozen pipes. If you have any pipes in the house that aren't frozen, make sure to keep the water running, even overnight. Not good. Can you get them unfrozen somehow? You don't want bursting.

Dynamite? Bad bad Anon.

How many heat-seeking masses do you have?

ps - The house is looking FANTASTIC!

BunkleLife said...

Good news - hot water, rags and a hair drier with me crouching under my super creepy, spider infested porch and I HAVE WATER....
Shower time!

Anonymous said...

Hahah! Immunity!

Goggle goggle goggle goggle!